yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
