ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
All I want is dick and wine.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
