Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
