Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
