the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
