I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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