Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
