That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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