Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
