fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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