you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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