P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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