Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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