I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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