Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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