I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
