It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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