As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
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She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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