Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
