It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
3pm strippers are depressing
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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