I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
