i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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