Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
