I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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