just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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