In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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