it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
they're like a gay fantastic four
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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