Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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