she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
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God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
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At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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