I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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