i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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