Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
