just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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