Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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