i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
