My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
