I am in a vortex of obligation.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
