Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
