I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
