whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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