so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
