I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
