I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
