why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
