We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
