8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
