He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I smell stomach acid.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
