i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
