Christians are straight up FREAKS
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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