true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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