I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
