i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
