it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
