ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
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