...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
