Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
