I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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