I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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