It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
