Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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