Can i not drive my cunt home
Betty ford says i'm here all night
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
