Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
