Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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