She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm passing your future prison.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
